Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
