i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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