the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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