At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
