you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just want nice things and good sex
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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