Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize