your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
