I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
