Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
