hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
