Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Floor bacon is actually really good
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
