I skipped work to stalk him.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
