just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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