see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
