Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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