he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
