smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
