I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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