I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
