okay pat passed out under dana's car
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
