I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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