How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
