I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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