using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
