I just saw a hot homeless man
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
