You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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