Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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