Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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