I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
