Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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