Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
