forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
