My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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