Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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