He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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