New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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