Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
