And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
50% drunk capacity currently
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
