this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
