I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
