i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
