i don't like sucking hair
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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