Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
