Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i need to put some appletini on your dick
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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