Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can I color on your dick again?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
and you fell through a lawn chair
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
