My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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