At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
