walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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