Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
