If that was your dad, he is hot
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
