he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
