taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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