You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
