Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
