hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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