mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
