This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
