some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
