maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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