My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize