seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
