Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
