Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
